blogiversary

One year ago today, I began this blog. I didn't have much of a vision back then; I just knew that I wanted to write like this, take pictures like this, and knit like this. I was also pulled by the lure of the swap...I sat and read blogs for hours, and looked at pictures, and said to myself "I want to do that too!"

I chose the name of my blog from a line in a classic Disney film that my daughter was obsessed with at the time. It had been a favorite of all three of my daughters, actually, and though I chose the hero's name as my pen name, I really identified more with the villain. She was, well, so powerful. I didn't give it a lot of thought, and did a quick Google search to find the picture that encapsuled the moment the line comes, as well as a kind of image that summed up my affair with spinning at the time: entranced. This became my sigil, and probably violates some mighty copyrights somewhere.

And yes, this did start out as a knitting and spinning blog, though recent entries may belie this fact. And yes, it did start to evolve and swirl out into other directions as I became more computer savvy and followed link after link...quilting, softies, bento boxes, goats.

Then I started thinking about the messages I was sending out. I was afraid of appearing to be someone I was not; then I got paranoid about the image I wanted readers to have of me. It has never been my intent to fool anyone, and what you read is what you get. I worry about disappointing the knit blog readers when I lack that content, yet am thrilled with comments from other forums and love it when someone follows a link and discovers lil ol' me. I used to wish I got more traffic. Now I am content with whomever wishes to stop by and comment, and I always make a concerted effort to follow back with a "thanks for stopping by."

And indeed, I have made many wonderful friends, and I couldn't begin to name them all, but they range from local talent to shining stars in Canada and New Zealand. My mailbox has never been happier, and having a blog makes approaching the computer a wonderful adventure (and sometimes a time devouring distraction) each and every day.

So tonight I celebrate quietly, just a little post to say THANK YOU to all who read, and a little prayer that my camera is soon repaired and returned so normal posting may resume. And also to commemorate this important event it seems Blogger has taken it upon themselves to delete my each and every link. Just so glad to have an excuse now to spend more time here with all of you, replacing and editing and creating anew...after all, that's what it's all about.

Blessed be,

Aurora

painting

I see life as a canvas fresh every day
All yesterdays gone
I want to use all the colors and paint the canvas to the very edge not leaving one open space
I know what I want but yet yesterdays overshadow my pretty colors, and hopes for tomorrow push in as well
I try to live fully to see the good in others; to know we have to see past people's flaws as we all have them and need not be judged by them
Yet I do judge, and know I too am being judged
Human beings try to do right, but sometimes fail
It's OK because we can start again
No matter how many times you fall, just remember it's OK, get up and try again
I want to laugh, to love, to really FEEL and enjoy my life
To have people who know me feel inspired and feel good when they are with me
I want to grow, to learn, to get in all the living I can
I want to be the artist of my life for I know this is NOT a dress rehearsal; one go at this life is all I get
And there are no rewinds
And I want to make the most of it

- author unknown


I am painting in yarn...the middle skein is becoming socks, the bottom will be fingerless gloves...hope to have a "real" post soon, thanks for sticking with me!

be the dishes

Are you having a hard time getting through life or facing a challenging situation? Are you trying your best only to find that there is usually someone or something in your way? Perhaps you should consider these words... "Your external world is an accurate reflection of your internal state of being." Believe it or not, your inner life is the cause and the source of everything that manifests around you. Consequently, your life will always let you know when there is something "in" you that requires attention.

There is a life within you that requires tender loving care and attention. Your inner life must be cleansed, strengthened and well ordered. You are responsible for being the things you desire. For being the way you desire others to be. It is your responsibility to take the necessary steps to ensure that what is going on inside of you is in perfect harmony, because everything you desire will happen through you, not to you!

Be peace! Be joy! Be strength! Be wisdom! Be creative! Be inspiration! Be a delight! Be a helping hand! Be a smile! Be a hug! Be a success! Be gentle! Be kind! Be hope! Be faith! Be truth! Be trust! Be honor! Be forgiving! Be patient! Be calm! Be encouragement! Be discipline! Be fun! Be freedom! Be respect! Be fearless! Be a friend! Be prayer! Be love! Be the miracle! Be the posssiblity! BE-gin within and allow all the things you know how to be blossom into the truth of who you are.

Until today, you may have been waiting for something to happen before you could experience something better in your life. Just for today, be devoted to being all the things you say you want. Do it in faith, know that like draws like!

Today I am devoted to being what I am, which is all that I want to be!

- author unknown

After enlightenment, the dishes.

life

Yesterday I called the camera shop. Yes, yes I know. A watched pot, and all that. But hasn't it been three weeks!? (I didn't exactly write down the date of course.) The man was very polite. "We WILL call you," he assures me. But what now? And what until then?

Well it's called life. Life goes on, whether you are recording it all in pictures or not. And at our house there's never a dull moment.

As I am not returning back to school until January, I have begun somewhat of a journey...a Journey of the Self, you might say. I started back with my therapist. She is a wonderful Wise Woman whom I met about seven years ago. This is important: some people see life as it unfolds in seven year increments. Shifts happen then, and change is inevitable. I feel this deeply right now. I can feel my cells kind of shifting and morphing into someone new, and I think I like her!

Said therapist has described one hour walks every day. So far I have been faithful with this regime. One hour a day I walk in nature. I sweat and I contemplate. It feels good. It might even be shifting a little weight off (I can hope, right?) As I walk I meditate, or pray, or sometimes just look around and, OK, wish I had my camera. (Sorry.)

Last week I attended a Knitter's Retreat. I was the youngest participant, but not the least experienced - a fascinating role. The bulk of the group was from two local churches, and the average age was around 60 I would guess. Anyway, we had some Mindful Knitting time, in which I actually knitted with my eyes closed. This was terrifying, but somehow empowering. Next we had some Christian Centering Prayer time, which my pagan self was skeptical about at first, but it just turned out to be quieting the mind. It was lovely! Then we did moving meditation - Tai Chi Cheh, a very sweet and gentle form of Tai Chi, which focuses on softness, grace, and letting go. Then lunch, then more knitting. All of this took place at the beautiful Villa Santa Maria del Mar to the smell and crash of the ocean. Afterwards, I took a walk on the beach and felt renewed.

After this relaxation, the Fair began in earnest. We had many entries to prepare and shuttle over to Watsonville. Wednesday I picked up Horsey Girl early from school so she could bake and enter the famous Giant Cookie Contest. (Camera! Camera! Arrrgh) I was so proud to watch her win second place.

Other awards go to:
*Big Red Chicken - First Place and Reserve Grand Champion in the American Breeds Division
*Cross Stitch tote bag - Second place
*Garden Dress - First place
*Pretty in Pink Dress for P. #2 - First place
*Biscuits - Second place
*Lemon bars - Honorable Mention (beh!)
*Lemon Pound Cake - First place
*Olallieberry Jam - No award (double beh!)
*Cupcakes - Second place
*Princess # 2's Prettiest Pumpkin - "Rainbow ribbon" (participant)
*Horsey Girl's vegetable dragon - Second place
*French lavendar - First place and Special Award (big rosette!)
*English lavendar - Second place
*Rosemary - Second place
*Borage - First place
*Italian Past tomatoes - First place
*Green Zebra tomatoes - First place
*Incredible and amazing Pirate Scarecrow, executed by DH - First place (we bought a disposable camera for this one believe me.)

And if all this was not exciting enough, one night as we were at the edge of the Petting Barn (no beers allowed, he he) I heard someone call my name. Our eyes met...she looked so familiar. Like an old soul I had always known. My mind raced. Midwife acquaintance? Someone from school? She introduced herself, and I was flabbergasted. A real, live blogger friend! A local talent, amazing mother and creative genious! It's true we could have talked for hours. And her baby! The most adorable boy I've ever seen poked out his head - and smiled at me! I wanted to take them both home. I'm only praying we can start some sort of club, or something. Making friends on the screen is wonderful, but meeting them in person is majickal. Thank you so much Michele! (She wrote about it here.)

And so, life goes on...full of wonderful moments. Go! Enjoy it!

getting it right

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of the Universe.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure.
You were born to make manifest the glory of GOD(DESS) that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

sheep and peace for 9/11

A woman of peace is not a pacifist; a woman of peace is simply a pool of silence.
She pulsates a new kind of energy into the world, she sings a new kind of song.
She lives in a totally new way, her very way of life is that of grace, that of prayer, that of compassion.
Whomever she touches, she creates more love-energy.
The woman of peace is creative.

She is not against war, because to be against anything is to be at war.
She is not against war, she simply understands why war exists.
And out of that understanding she becomes peaceful.
Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, and understanding, will war disappear.

- Osho

imagine

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the "sins" of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of woment.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.

- author unknown

she let go

Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the "right" reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn't ask anyone for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go... She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxisty that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't go to a 12 Step Let Go meeting. She didn't call the prayer line. She didn't utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

- Ernest Holmes